Caught Between Two
by Sharkie2008
Summary: Alex opens her front door to reveal two people who would flip her whole world upside down. Rating is T...Just in case.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **This is my first Law and Order:CI story, so I hope that I can A) Finish a story for once n my life and B) Try and measure up to the great writers who's stories I have read. Let me know what you guys think...If I should continue or what. Thanks for reading of course.

Disclaimer: Not mine.

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Alex had just woken up recently when she heard the door bell ring. She was still lying in bed slowly letting herself wake up, which was something that didn't happen very often. Bobby had gone to work earlier that morning, promising Alex he would only work a half day. Alex was on leave for a few days because her brother had just died yesterday morning. He was on duty, writing a traffic ticket when the suspect took out a pistol and shot Steve point blank in the chest. He was prononunced dead at the scene.

She stood up, letting the coldness hit her for just a second before she wrapped herself in her bathrobe to try and keep in the warmth. As she walked down the hallway to her front door, the doorbell began to ring incessantly, frustrating Alex.

"I'm coming! Hold on." She yelled, sighing as she kicked some of hers and Bobby's clothes from the night before out of her way.

She looked through the peek hole before opening the door, cops instinct. She has lived in this neighborhood for almost 4 years, but she never knew who had a grudge against her, or even Bobby.

But there was no psycho serial killer on the other side of the door seeking revenge. No, It was her Captain Danny Ross, and the Chief of D's.

She felt her heart fall to the pit of her stomach as soon as her eyes focused on who was standing outside her door. Her eyes fell to the sparkle on her finger that caught her eye and she momentarily let the tears form in her eyes. She knew what they were here for. The same two people showed up when her husband Joe died, except with different names.

She composed herself as much as she could, because she was not going to let the news they were about to give her make her break down in front of her captain and the Chief of D's. She was not weak.

She unhitched the lock on the door before opening and putting on her best face to the two people she least wanted to see at this exact moment. They both nodded at her, before her captain spoke.

"Detective Eames," He spoke roughly, and Alex knew immediately that he didn't quite know how to reveal the news to her. Instead he asked, "May we come in?"

Without answering, Alex opened the door further stepping out of the way to let the two men in. They entered, but stood politely at the door, making sure they stayed on the carpet that welcomed their visitors.

She let out a long sigh as her Captain introduced the well known Chief of D's to Alex and she shook his hand because she knew she had too. She listened to Ross stumble over his words giving condolences on her brother, Steve. She took the sympathy from them, knowing that neither of them knew how to tell her their news.

"Captain?" Alex interrupted him as he was asking her how she was doing. "Please. I'm doing just fine, but I know that you and the Chief of D's didn't come all the way out to Rockaway to ask if I was doing alright."

Ross nodded, knowing that Alex never beat around the bush. "Detective, we received some news today regarding your husband Joe Dutton."

Alex was severely blindsided. She had prepared herself to hear that Detective Robert Goren had taken a shot to the chest this morning and was in Mercy Hospital, with no brain activity. She and Bobby had just solved Joe's case about a week ago, what else could they possibly have to tell her?

"This isn't about Bobby?" She asked, just to make sure.

Ross looked surprised. Even the Chief of D's looked surprised. "No Eames. Goren is at 1PP probably waiting for you to call. He himself wanted to come with us, but he stayed with our guest."

"Guest?" She looked to the Chief of D's who still had yet to say a word.

"Joe Dutton." The Chief of D's finally spoke up. Of course whatever he had to say was going to throw Alex for a loop.

"Joe Dutton?" She asked surprised. "What do you mean? We just solved his case a week ago. He's dead..."

Ross turned his gaze to the floor sighing as the Chief of D's kept his eyes locked on Alex.

"Isn't he?" Alex added. The look on both of their faces told Alex that they were indeed telling the truth. She would have fell backwards if it wasn't for the couch behind her that she now found herself leaning on for support.

"He was in Witness Protection, Detective." The Chief again chose to speak. "He was placed in WPP when he was shot at nine years ago. After you and Detective Goren found evidence as to who had killed your husband, he was immediately contacted to know that he was allowed to return to New York."

Alex's breath had caught in her throat and she now found it hard to breath. Joe was alive? Her breath's were getting shorter and shorter, and she felt herself becoming light headed.

"Joe returned to New York this morning around 6 a.m. and showed up at Major Case around 9 a.m, two hours ago. He spoke with Detective Goren as to your where abouts. He is very eager to see you, as you would imagine."

As the Chief finished, Alex knew that whatever she had planned for her life in the future had just become ten times more difficult. She turned around to face the couch, putting both hands on the back to brace herself. Her breath's kept getting shorter as her mind replayed the conversation that had just happened.

Her eyes started rolling to the back of her head, and before she knew it darkness took over. Joe was alive.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **Thank you to everyone who reviewed my first chapter, it meant a lot to me. I tried to write back to you all but I may have missed a few and if I did, I'm sorry. I hope you came back for Chapter 2. I also got story alerts and one person even added me to the fav stories list. That makes me feel good. Haha. Here's Chapter 2, I hope you enjoy and as always, review!

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CHAPTER 2

As Alex started to waken, she knew she was immediately in a hospital room. After so many years of wandering in and out and on occasion being admitted herself, she knew what they felt like, what the smelt like. She felt pain in her head first, and it was unbearable. She then felt pressure on her hand, except this wasn't painful, someone was holding her hand.

She fought to open her eyes and when she did she saw Bobby sitting there, holding her hand, his gaze focused intently on her.

For a moment, Alex was happy to see Bobby there like it was just like any other morning. Except then the memories of what had landed her in the hospital in the first place came back to her. She shot up in her bed, only to have a large hand placed on her shoulder, gently pushing her back down.

"Alex..." Bobby soothed. "Calm down. You'll hurt yourself."

Alex reluctantly sat back, then looked around the room. Joe was no where to be found, just Bobby. The Chief of D's and her Captain were also no where to be found.

"Where's...Joe?" She asked quietly. She wasn't sure what Bobby would make of the situation. Especially since she asked for Joe as soon as she woke up.

The pained expression did cross Bobby's face quickly, but it was gone just as fast. "He's outside talking with the doctors. Technically, he uh, still has medical..proxy."

She nodded her head, leaning forward to give Bobby a kiss. He accepted it, but pulled away quickly, unsure of himself. She frowned, but wasn't sure what to say.

As Bobby held her hand, he played with Alex's ring and Alex wondered if this was subconscious, or if he was reassuring himself that she loved him. She accepted him as her husband. She needed to talk to him, but she herself didn't know what she was going to say. Joe coming back made things more complicated because Joe was going to want to pick up right where they left off.

She loved Joe. Of course she did, don't get her wrong. But she hasn't seen Joe in over 9 years. _Did he look the same?_ Because she sure as hell didn't. _Did he still leave his clothes all over the bedroom making her clean them up in the morning before she went to work? Would he still kiss her every morning when he departed for work one hour early? Would he still tell her he loved her every time they parted? Would he be put into WPP again?_

But what about Bobby? She loved him more than life itself. She doesn't think she's ever loved this much before. But what would Joe think? Did he expect her to wait for him as he was in Witness Protection? Because he sure as hell didn't even try to contact her. Her and Bobby were supposed to be get married in two months. They saved the date, and she wasn't sure if she was going to let Joe's return ruin that...

"Alex?"

She was brought out of her trance when she noticed someone standing in the doorway and Bobby took his hand away suddenly, leaving her without his reassurance.

She studied him as he stood in the doorway. He still had his blonde hair although it was a little shorter than when he left. His face definitely looked a little older, but he was still handsome. He was hunched over, his hands in his pockets unsure of himself. She figured he was doing the same to her. Looking her over to see if they were still the same people back then. Which in fact, they weren't.

"Joe." Bobby stood up as soon as she said it and she reached forward to catch his arm but was too late. He moved too fast for her, something that normally doesn't happen.

She felt her head protest when she moved so fast and fell back agaisnt the pillow groaning. That got Bobby's attention and was back at her side in an instant.

But then again, so was Joe.

"Alex? What's wrong?" She knew that was Bobby's voice because he was trying to talk quietly and softly to soothe her.

"My head...fucking...hurts."

She couldn't see him, but she knew he nodded. She felt the pressure on the bed dip as someone sat down on the edge of it. The nurse was there as soon as the button was pushed and she heard the woman, but couldn't make out what she was trying to say. She was talking too God damn fast.

"My head...hurts." She put that out there because she didn't care what the nurse had to say, she just wanted the fucking pain gone.

She heard the nurse moving around as well as someone holding her hand again and she knew it was Bobby. Because whenever he held her hand, he always would twirl her ring around her finger. She suddenly felt pressure on her right hand as well and this wasn't familiar. The man's hand were dry and rough, not like Bobby's. He didn't gently caress her hand with his thumb, he simply let his cold hand hold hers. Tightly.

The pain subdued, slowly. Slowly being the key word. She felt it ease and was then able to open her eyes without the light hurting. She looked at Bobby and smiled which he returned and could see the worry written all over his face. If it wasn't for Joe holding her other hand, she could have reached up and caressed Bobby's cheek, feeling his stubble he hadn't quite gotten to this morning.

"What happened?" It came out as hoarse as her voice could possibly get.

"You fainted." Bobby said. "Captain said..you fell and, uh, hit you're head on the couch. Then you fell backwards, and...hit your head on the coffee table."

She sighed. No wonder everywhere she moved her head it fucking hurt. She could already feel the bulge on her forehead without even moving her hand there. Great. Now her Captain and the Chief of D's probably think she's weak because she fainted. She _fainted_.

"Alex?"

She turned her head slowly the other way to see Joe's face, and for the first time in 9 years she seen him smile.

"Joe..." She couldn't help the tears that formed in her eyes. She had convinced herself for 9 years that Joe was never coming back. But here he was, standing right in front of her.

"Oh Alex..." He leaned forward and pulled her into his arms, which felt extremely awkward for Alex. As soon as she fell into him, she felt the other side of the bed dip again, and then was gone. She pulled away from Joe, to see Bobby opening the door.

"Bobby!"

He turned around in time to see her pleading face and felt his heart tug. He knew she needed time to be with Joe but he just couldn't bear to leave her. He forced his feet to keep walking in the other direction.

"You need some time with your husband, Eames," He sneered, looking away.

The anger flared very quickly and she had to remind herself to not stand up and slap him right across the face because she would most likely black out again.

"That was a low fucking blow, Bobby."

He closed his eyes and sighed. He wasn't going to have this conversation right now, right in front of her God damn husband. He didn't even say another word to Alex, he just walked out of the room into the bright hallway with those God forsaken florescent lights.

He walked down the hallway into the cafeteria, which is the only place that he knew for sure how to get to. He wasn't even sure where the waiting room was. He picked a table way in the back of the cafeteria where only the cooks would be able to see him if they looked out the small window to the kitchen which he felt like was a rare occurrence.

He couldn't believe it when the Chief of D's walked into his bullpen this morning with the now famous, Joe Dutton. He had a smile on his face and he looked straight at Bobby, then to the desk across from him that was empty. As soon as he saw that Alex's desk hadn't been disturbed since she left last night, he knew she hadn't come into work that day.

Bobby watched as the Chief of D's and Joe walked into the Ross's office and started explaining the situation and that this was indeed Alex Eames' husband. He seen Ross' eyes flicker over to Bobby more than once and felt as though they were talking about him.

When he couldn't take it any longer, he stood up to leave except he heard Ross calling after him. He explained to Bobby that they needed to go speak with Alex about the situation and then she could see Joe. Bobby was to say behind with Joe. Great.

Bobby really isn't much of a talker unless it's someone he knows or someone he is interrogating. They sat in silence for a few moments before Joe started asking questions. _How is she? Is she married?_ How the fuck was he supposed to answer that one? _Does she have kids? Is she okay?_

He answered the questions that he could because he didn't want Joe to know that Alex and him were actually supposed to get married in two months. He didn't want Joe to get up and run away because even though he loves Alex to his core, she needs closure. And if closure meant going back to Joe, then so be it.

But fuck, how he wished that wouldn't be the case. He loved Alex so much. He would do anything for her and she would do the same for him which is something Bobby is not use too. She cared for him no matter what happened and Bobby liked that feeling. He liked knowing what it felt like to be loved unconditionally and he liked the feeling that she was going to be there when he woke up in the morning. She understood him like no one else, and knew his boundaries and when not to push to him. She knew him. She loved him.

But did she love Joe more? Would she leave him?

He could see Alex's room from his table and just as he was going to stand up to leave he heard the door to Alex's room burst open and Joe furiously walked out of the room, through the ER doors and out of the hospital.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Sorry this chapter took so long for me to upload. I got a little busy the last couple days and just had time today to sit down and write it. Thank you all for the reviews again. :] I took what a lot of what you said into account so let me know what you think. As always, Read and Review. :]

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Oh yeah. I do drop the F bomb once. Just a for warning, because I forgot to let you all know in the last chapter. My apologizes.

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CHAPTER 3

Alex truly did not want to have this conversation right now. She had just woken up, maybe twenty minutes ago, with a major headache. She watched Bobby leave and the look on Joes face said it all. He knew that she was in love with Bobby.

Before Alex was able to say anything, Joe stood up from the bed. The creaking of the bed springs caught Alex's attention before the absence of the weight. He paced the floor of her hospital room, rubbing the back of his neck as he did. The familiarity of the action struck her, and she instantly thought of Bobby. The similarities between their actions when they were upset or confused, were unbelievable that she was surprised she hadn't seen it before.

"Do you love him?" Joe blurted out and for a moment Alex was caught off guard.

"Is that really the first thing you want to ask me?"

Joe stopped pacing, and shot an angry glare at Alex. When she matched him glare for glare, his face softened and he sighed. He opted for the chair near the bed this time, rather than sharing the same proximity with Alex.

"How are you?" He tried to sound sincere, but given the recent information he had just processed, he found it difficult.

"I'm good, actually." She gave him a small smile.

Silence filled the room again for a few moments and Alex finally took in how awkward the situation really was. Her husband and her had become strangers. The silence in a room they shared together was uncomfortable, and she found herself searching for something to say.

"I missed you." Joe said it, and she felt a stab at her heart.

"I missed you too." She hadn't seen him in over 9 years. He left so suddenly that she didn't even get to say goodbye. She spent years trying to get over him, the pain that she endured was indescribable.

It was silent for a few minutes before Alex couldn't take it any longer. "Are you going to say anything? Or are we just going to sit here like strangers because I know I'm not the only one who feels the awkward tension."

Joe just nodded his head. "I'm sorry I didn't call."

"That's a good start." Alex was furious. She really didn't want to fight with him because he had just gotten back from the dead, so to speak, but she couldn't understand why he didn't try to contact her.

"I..." He hesitated. "I tried calling you, Alex you have to believe me."

She sighed. "Yeah. I understand that they probably had your phones wired. But you could have written..."

"I tried. They went through all my mail before it was sent to the post office." His eyes were pleading. "I tried everything...I missed you so much...."

She brought her hand up to her nose and pinched the bridge of it. She was overwhelmed with emotions right now. The sun shone through the window next to her, as it started to set. The glimmer of her ring and the sun together produced a glare, that shot right into Joes eye.

"You're engaged?" His voice was surprised and his voice cracked just a bit.

She nodded her head. "Yeah Joe. Did you expect me to wait around for you? I thought you were dead!"

He flew out of the chair, pushing it away from him. It landed on the floor near the other side of the room.

"I can't believe this!"

Alex was just as angry as he was, but she had to restrain herself because she knew it would only make matters worse for her and she wasn't going to stay in the hospital any longer than she had to.

"I can't believe you..." She kept her voice calm and steady. "You have no right to come in here and just expect me to drop everything and expect things to go back to normal."

Joe was pacing the floor again, trying to keep his anger suppressed. "I honestly don't know what I expected Alex." He sneered. "But it definitely wasn't that." He pointed his finger towards her left hand and she defensively pulled it toward her.

"What do you want me to do?" Alex asked. "You want me to just pretend like the last nine years didn't happen?"

"No," Joe spat out. "Of course not."

"Then what?"

"I just want to know what happened to _you_ in these last nine years. What changed?"

Alex nodded her head. "I made Detective."

Joes face beamed, and he smiled. "I'm proud of you."

"Major Case."

Joe nodded his head. "I always knew you would, Alex. You're an incredible co- Detective."

She smiled. "I am pretty damn good."

"Who is he?" Joe asked, and Alex rolled her eyes. She only knew that they would be back to this conversation soon enough.

"It doesn't matter who, I love him Joe."

Joe shook his head then stopped pacing. He stood right at the foot of her bed, and shock grew on his face in a moment and his jaw dropped.

"It's him, isn't it?"

Alex sighed and rolled her eyes. "Bobby? Yes..."

Joe let out an exasperated laugh. "Your partner. Your fucking partner Alex."

She shot out of the bed, and stood up. She immediately felt a little light headed, but pushed it aside. She stood up right next to him, her face right up to his chest. She lifted her head in order to match his glares.

"Really? You're going to judge me right now?"

"I thought you would have known better." He muttered quietly, turning around to leave the room.

Alex's jaw dropped and she grabbed his arm before he was able to open the door. "He's a damn good cop Joe. One of the most incredible men that I have worked with. On top of that, he's sweet, and loving, and honest with me and he trusts me with his life. And I trust him with mine. So don't you come in here ridiculing him and me."

Joe opened his mouth like he was going to say something, but Alex pushed him towards the door.

"Get out."

"You really have changed, Alex."

He shook his before frowning and opening the door. He stormed out of the room, slamming the door on his way and left Alex alone in the now silent room.

She felt the pain of getting out of her bed so quickly starting to catch up with her so she slowly made her way towards her bed. She got back under the sheets and turned away from the window curling herself into a ball. She took a few deep breaths, before she began to cry.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: First of all, thank you to all who decided to come back and read the next chapter. I know it's literally been months since I last updated. I honestly forgot all about this story until I got a review for it yesterday and I decided I wanted to write another chapter. I wrote this pretty quickly, so it's not the best. But I hope you enjoy.**

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Bobby sat still in his chair as he debated whether or not to go in Alex's room. Joe came out so suddenly, and furiously, he wasn't sure he wanted to see how Alex was reacting at the moment. But he couldn't help but wonder what Alex said to Joe that got him so upset. Bobby was sure that as soon as Alex saw him, things would go back to normal between the two. They would hug and kiss, and cry. Shouting at each other, and chasing one of them out of the room definitely wasn't what Bobby had expected.

He took his time finishing his coffee, giving Alex time to cool down. Because Bobby is the person he is, he was expecting Alex to go straight back to Joe. After hearing her talk about him for years, and after he witnessed her emotions during this case, he was positive she loved Joe more than he loved him. That was how things seemed to work out. His mother loved him, but she loved Frank more. She was always talking about how wonderful Frank was, wondering why he couldn't be like Frank. Then there was Frank. He wasn't sure what Frank felt for him was even love. His idea of love was using it against you to persuade you into giving him what he wanted. He only loved you if he needed something from you. His entire life, he can't remember hearing Frank ever utter those three words to him. But, to be fair, he couldn't remember ever saying them to Frank either.

Who was he to judge Alex? She had been young at the time, had just got married and ready to start a family, when her one true love was taken away from her. Even with all this, she was able to focus on her work and get as far as she is today. He supposes its because she had nothing else to put her heart into. She had no one. He knows what it's like to put all of your heart into one thing, because there's nothing else. No one else.

Before he pushed himself deeper into self-pity, he stood up from his chair and threw away his coffee cup. Shoving his hands in his pockets and slumping over, he began walking towards Alex's room. He had to be near her. He didn't necessarily need her to answer questions right now. Honestly, because he was afraid of her answers. He just wanted to be in her presence, if nothing, that reassured him.

He almost just pushed her door open when he arrived, but thought against it at the last second. Instead, he picked up his hand and knocked softly on the door. He leaned in after a few seconds without an answer, and he swore he could hear her muffled cries. Without another moments hesitation, he pushed it open.

She was lying on the bed, on her side, away from the door. Though she wasn't facing him, he could see her body shake with her sobs. Bobby made a move to go sit in the chair in which she was facing, and when she heard him she rolled over, surprised.

"What are you doing here? I thought you left," She said in between sobs. It came out rather ragged, but Bobby was able to make it out.

"No, I wouldn't leave you. I went to the cafeteria to get some coffee. To..calm down."

She settled on her side facing Bobby, watching him. She sniffled and wiped her nose with the back of her hand. Bobby felt a small smile tug at his lips at this, and almost laughed. Instead, he took out his handkerchief and handed it to her. She frowned at him, before rolling her eyes and taking it from him.

After she calmed down a bit, Bobby was sure she was going to fall asleep. It was rather funny, sort of like watching a small child. Her eyes would close for just a moment, before they shot back open again and she shifted herself into a different, less comfortable, position. After the third time this happened, Bobby reached out and put his hand on her thigh.

"Go to sleep, Eames. You're tired."

She watched him for a moment, looking between his hand and his face, before she shook her head. "I don't...I don't want you to not be here...when I wake up."

She looked down ashamed, but Bobby put his hand underneath her chin to lift her face up to his. He forced her to look him in the eyes, and he leaned forward giving her a small kiss.

"I'll be here."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

Two minutes later, Alex was out like a light with her hand holding onto Bobby's.

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After sitting with Alex for twenty minutes, Bobby started to get agitated. He tried moving his foot back and forth, but it didn't work. He tried bouncing his leg up and down, but that didn't work either. He was getting restless. Afraid he was going to wake Alex up, he gently took his hand out of hers and stood up. It felt so good to stand that Bobby started pacing the small walkway her room offered. He wasn't satisfied with the small area in her room, so he opened the door as softly as he could, and left. He didn't really have a destination, but he found himself outside in the parking lot.

He thought about it for five minutes before he pulled out a cigarette, lighting it. He knew Alex would be angry with him. Disappointed in him. But right now, he didn't care. This cigarette was his own disease. Every time he thought he got it out of his system, something would make it come back and it would harvest itself in his body for days. He couldn't kick it. Every time he got over that "three day hump", something would make it come back. It would sneak it's way back, and he couldn't do anything but accept it with open arms. It relaxed him. What was wrong with something that actually relaxed his body? Nothing ever did these days.

He felt a vibrating in his pocket and it actually startled him. He fished his phone out, and sighed when he saw "Ross" across the screen. He flipped it open, and gave his usual greeting.

"Goren? What...I thought I called Eames' phone."

Confused, Bobby pulled the phone away from his ear and rolled his eyes seeing that he did have Alex's phone in his hand. Was he that distracted that he couldn't even see the difference between his and Alex's phone?

"Oh..It is Captain. They...gave me her cell phone when she was brought it. I didn't even think to check who's phone I had in my hand when I answered."

"Understandable. I probably wouldn't think to check either. Anyway, how is she?"

Bobby sighed. "She's doing alright physically. Emotionally...I'd say she's...confused."

Ross was silent on the other end for a few moments. "Are you okay, Bobby?"

"I'm fine Captain." Bobby answered a little too quickly.

"Right." Ross knew Bobby wasn't going to talk to him about what was going through his mind. He never had before, why would he start now? "Well, I was just calling to check on Eames. Is Joe still there?"

"No. I'm not sure what happened. He stormed out of Eames' room without a word."

"That's odd. Did you ask Alex what happened?"

"No. When I went in her room, she was so tired. I told her to go to sleep."

"Okay, Goren. I have to go. But if anything happens..."

"I'll call you. Thanks Captain."

Without waiting for Ross' response, Bobby hung up the phone. He was so close to putting it back into his pocket, but before he could, his anger got the best of him and he threw it across the parking lot where it hit a cement pole and it shattered into thousand's of pieces. After he threw it, he realized he actually just threw Alex's phone across the parking lot. He sat down on the bench sighing and let his head roll back to rest against the back of the bench. He just broke Alex's cell phone. Good job, Bobby.

Just after he sat down, he saw a man maybe just a few years younger than Bobby sit down next to him. He watched him lean forward and put his head in his hands. Something he had did so many times before. Before he could stop himself, he said something to the man. He didn't know why. He felt as though he once felt what this man was going through.

"Are you alright?" God, what a stupid question, Bobby. Of course he's not alright.

"I'm okay." He replied, sitting back and looking out towards the parking lot.

Bobby watched him look out toward where Bobby had just thrown his cell phone, and watched the man raise and eyebrow at Bobby. He pointed towards the phone, "You?" he asked.

Sheepishly, Bobby nodded. "Uh...yeah. I left my anger get the...best of me."

The man scoffed a little. "Happens to the best of us. But I'd say it's a mixture of both frustration and anger."

"You're probably right."

The man leaned forward again, resting his arms on his knees. "Why are you here?"

Bobby was surprised at the man's bluntness. He must have let it show, because he laughed a little and put his hands up in front of him.

"I didn't mean to be rude. I just figured I'd ask the obvious question."

"Uh...my fiancee...or partner...or...I'm not sure what she is to me. She...got some news today and fell back and got a pretty bad concussion."

The man nodded, turning his gaze away from him. "Well you're one of the lucky ones. At least you're not that man over there. His wife was in a car accident earlier, and she's in surgery right now to remove a metal rod from her stomach."

Bobby looked across the parking lot where a man who couldn't have been more then 25 sitting next to another woman who Bobby assumed was either his sister, or a very close friend. He was crying, and she was holding him in her arms rocking him and whispering gentle words in his ear.

"Wow. I guess for that I am grateful."

"Or, you could be waiting for your wife to finish another round of Chemo for her breast cancer."

Bobby looked at the man, who was looking towards the ground. He knew this man was talking about himself, and he felt sorry for him. If Alex had ever gotten breast cancer, or any kind of cancer for that matter, he wasn't sure what he would do. He would have to watch her suffer everyday. She would go to chemo appointments that were supposed to kill what was eating away at her inside, but it would make her more miserable before it got better. It's always the darkest before dawn, right?

"I'm so sorry." Bobby said. After he said it, he wished he could take it back. This man had heard these words too many times before. He didn't want to hear it again.

Shaking his head, he looked towards him. "Don't be. You should be grateful that your girlfriend is here for something minor."

"Physically, it's minor and she's okay. But...emotionally...she's not."

Suddenly interested, the man gave him a curious look. "What do you mean?"

"Nine years ago, her husband was shot in the line of duty. He was a cop." The man nodded his head. "She was transferred to the Major Case Squad, where I work and we were partnered together. I watched her suffer, and I watched her try to move on for the last nine years. Last week, her husbands case was brought to out attention. Without saying anything I shouldn't, we solved it and he showed up at the squad today, returning from Witness Protection."

The man was shocked. "Really? He was never dead?"

"No. He was sent away after the shooting because many thought even with his "supposed killer" caught, he still wasn't safe. After we caught his real killer, it turned out it was all a misunderstanding. He never meant to shoot Joe, he was scared for his life. He thought Joe was going for his gun, when he was really reaching for his shield. "

"Wow, that's quite the mistake. Was he arrested?"

Bobby nodded, looking out at the parking lot. "He was arrested, and Joe was taken out of Witness Protection."

"Your girlfriend? Did she go back to him?"

Bobby shrugged and shook his head. "I don't know."

The man lifted his arm, and placed it on Bobby's back, trying to comfort him. "I thought I was in a tough situation. But that's terrible."

Bobby stood up, shaking the mans hand off his back. "No. You are in a much tougher situation. I don't know what I would do if Alex was in that situation."

The man stayed seated and calm. "But I know my wife loves me. She loves me more than anything, and I her. But if she was forced to choose between me and an old lover...I can't even imagine that pain."

Bobby was pacing now. He came out here to try and calm himself down, but it was actually doing the opposite. His hands were shaking and he felt more restless then be did before. The man stood up from the bench, looking at his watch.

"I have to get back inside. She'll be done soon." He stood in front of Bobby, which forced him to stop pacing. "Go be with her. This is a tough decision for her. She needs to know that you're there for her. No matter what she should choose."

Bobby nodded and the man actually pulled him in for a hug. Bobby was never much for hugging, but he felt this mans pain that he slowly put his arms around him. It was only for a brief second, but Bobby actually did feel a little better than before. He turned to walk away and before he went though the door, gave him a small wave.

Bobby rubbed his hands over his face, frustrated. He didn't know what he was feeling right now. Everything in his mind was so jumbled that he couldn't even being to think what he was feeling. Sad? Well of course. Frustrated? With himself yes, but not Alex. Mad? At Ross, and the Chief of D's, at Joe. Alone? That was the one.

Taking a deep breath, Bobby walked back through the hospital doors and up the few floors back up to Alex's room. She was still asleep when he went in her room, and she looked peaceful for the first time since she arrived. He smiled at her. She looked beautiful with the glow of the sun starting to go down, shining on her face. She looked just like an angel. He let all his emotions he was feeling at the moment subside, and he sat back down in the chair next to her bed. He took her hand back in his, and began rubbing small circles on her wrist.

Of course he wanted Alex to stay wit him, and get married. But he wasn't going to give her some kind of ultimatum or persuade her to choose him. This was her choice, and he was going to let her make it all on her own. He couldn't say the same thing for Joe though. He suspected that he would plead, and beg her to come back to him. But if he had to resort to that, then it would be clear that she doesn't want to be with him. But she hasn't given away any hints at all as to who she would rather be with. Sure, she asked him to stay when she fell asleep, but that meant nothing. Bobby wouldn't want to wake up in a hospital alone either.

Bobby was going to support her in whatever decision she made. If she choose Joe, then so be it. He would go back to the way things used to be. Them partners, and him hiding his love from her. Even though he doesn't want to persuade her in any way, he knows he could make her happy. He's done so for the past nine years with Joe gone. Why did this have to happen now? They were happy, they were in love. They were going to get married and hopefully have kids someday. This just proves Bobby's philopsohy that he can never be happy.

His cell phone vibrated again, and this time he was sure it was his. For obvious reasons. He pulled it out and it read unknown number. He thought about answering it, but he didn't want to wake Alex up. So he pushed ignore, and shoved it back in his pocket. After about two minutes, he felt it vibrating again, and saw that he had a new voicemail.

He called his voice mail and was surprised to hear that it was from Joe. He pushed one, so he could listen to the voice mail now.

"Uh...this is Joe Dutton. Alex's...husband. I need to talk to her. I...yelled at her and I feel terrible. I tried calling her cell phone...but it goes straight to voice mail." Go figure. "I need...just please have her call me. I can't have her mad at me. I just got her back...."

Bobby flipped the phone shut without listening to the rest of the message because he was sure it was him pleading and Bobby couldn't listen to that. He had seven new thoughts running through his head and probably ten different emotions. He couldn't even begin to sort through them. He was just about to get up to go for yet another walk, and maybe call their Captain, when Alex stirred next to him.

She groaned and Bobby stilled when she started calling out for him. Well that's a good sign right? She squeezed his hand and smiled when she saw him sitting there.

"You stayed."

"Of course. I promised."

She nodded and stretched before sitting up in her bed.

"Do you have my cell phone?"

Bobby stilled and his head fell. "Um...about that. I...Ross called your phone when I went outside for a second. After his call...I let my anger get the best of me..."

"You broke my phone?"

"I didn't mean to. I thought it was mine...."

She smiled, and even laughed a little. "It's okay, Bobby. I just wanted to see if I had any messages."

From Joe? He shook his head. Should he tell her about the phone call? He would feel like he betrayed her if he kept it from her. But what if she called him and they made up and she went back to him without another thought? Either way, he couldn't keep this from her. She was allowed to make an informed decision.

"Joe called...my cell phone. He said he needed to talk to you. He tried calling you...but it went straight to voicemail. His number...it's still on my phone...if you want to call...him."

"Thank you Bobby." She put her hand out, and he put the cell phone in her hand. He stood up to let her make her call, but he was stopped by her hand pulling him back. "Where are you going?"

"I was going to let you call...Joe."

She scooted over for him to sit down next to her on the bed. She let her hand softly caress his cheek before putting it in his hair and smoothing it back.

"I don't want to call him. At least...not now. He said some things that hurt."

He almost smiled, but he fought against it. She was hurting. It may be good for him, but if she wasn't happy, he wasn't happy either.

"I just want to lay here with you." She pulled him down to lay down on the bed next to her. He layed on his back and Alex cuddeled up against him. Bobby put his arm around her, holding her close and he was gently caressing her arm.

He couldn't help but feel elated. He was laying in her bed, with her. Earlier this morning, he didn't even think he'd be in the same room with her.

"With everything that's happened. Just remember that I still love you, Bobby."

"I love you too, Alex. I'll always love you. No matter what happens."


End file.
